Professional at Awkward

The Peace Corps staff often tells us how we are going to experience so many awkward situations over the next 2 years and to prepare ourselves. They say we will be so good at dealing with awkward situations that we will be able to put it on our resume. I’ve been here a little over a month now and have experienced or my friends have experienced quite a few awkward and hilarious situations.

These are situations either I or other volunteers have experienced:

·         Jumping rope while your family pulls up chairs to sit and watch you huff and puff and sweat profusely like you’re the television

·         Coming home to have your next door neighbor waiting for you to tell you that this is his favorite time of day because his pretty American neighbor walks by and proceeds to ask for your cellphone # - luckily I could honestly say I don’t have one

·         Explaining to someone you don’t eat meat and them saying they don’t understand how that’s possible because you are a little bit fat

·         Asking for “Polvo de Hornear” (Baking Powder) at the Dispensa (little store in someone’s house) but, actually saying “Polvo de Orinar” (verb Orinar – to urinate) so basically asking for “Pee Powder”

·         Saying you are working out so you can look like Shakira and them telling you that would take a long time because you are lacking a lot to look like her

·         Asking your host sister if she has a tattoo – using the word “tattoo” because you think it the same in Spanish when in reality it means Vagina in Paraguay.

·         Trying to figure out a culturally appropriate way of getting out of eating a … mysteriously crunchy hot dog, cow stomach lining, liver … etc.  (I have already eaten crocodile and carpincho—don’t know if that is spelled right but look them up … they are ROUS’*)

·         Sitting in a room with a bunch of people speaking super-fast Spanish you can’t understand … or worse Guarani – even better is when you can tell they are talking about you.

Also the funniest part of all of these awkward situations is that there is no actual word for awkward in Spanish. There are a bunch of different words for weird … but awkward is just a word of its own with so much more meaning than just weird.

* “The Princess Bride” reference