Slow to Adjust - Culture Clashes in Paraguay

When you live in another country you learn a lot about yourself because you learn first hand how different cultures can be and how you handle yourself when put in awkward situation when those cultures clashed. After having lived in Paraguay for over two years I have become pretty much accustomed to almost all things regarding Paraguayan culture. However, there were several things that were really hard for me to get used to and that I still struggle with today. I'm not saying these things are bad by any means, just that they are wildly different then the United States.

"Adios" - anyone who has taken any level of Spanish class, and honestly even if you haven't, knows what the word adios means. It means goodbye, right? Well in Paraguay it doesn't. When you are in a group of people and you decide to leave if you say adios, you might get a weird look. Instead you say chau. Adios is reserved for a passing greeting, by that I mean, when you are walking down the street and you pass someone you know, or even someone you don't know, you say adios. It is very similiar to our head nod, awkward smile when you make eye contact, or the "hey, what's up" that has no meaning behind it and expects no response. 

Double Kiss - In the United States when you walk into a room, or come to someones house or anything like that, you usually just say hello, maybe shake their hand or give them a hug depending how well you know them. In Paraguay, as a girl I am expected to give a double cheek kiss, to everyone in the room. It is considered rude if you don't. Men can shake hands, but if their is a woman involved a double kiss is usually expected.

Opposite Seasons - Being that Paraguay is in the southern hemisphere its seasons are opposite of the United States. When it is summer here it is winter there. That has been really confusing for body, that for the first 23 years of its life was used to cold Christmases and a relatively warm birthday (May 22). But, my past two Christmases have been spent here, in hot and humid weather. Also anytime the weather here starts to get chilly I want to start watching Halloween movies ... in June.

Yes means Yes, maybe and no - Many times as a Peace Corps Volunteer I would plan a meeting and invite over 30 people and they would all say yes, they were coming. The day of the meeting only 10 would show up. I later learned that this is normal, most Paraguayans will always say yes, even if they only mean maybe or no. They don't want to hurt your feelings.

Bluntness - I know this seems exact opposite to what I just said. But, what can I say. In some ways Paraguayans are are very blunt. For instance, I can't tell you how many times someone has told me that I look fatter today. They aren't trying to be rude (I don't think) its just normal to them.

Lunch - In Paraguay, as well as most Latin countries, lunch is the biggest meal of the day; and because of that the other meals, breakfast and dinner, are a lot smaller. I grew up with dinner being the biggest meal of the day, so it was a change.

Drinks during meals - In Paraguay, they do not drink while they are eating. They wait until they are done to drink a glass of water or soda. I never knew this was a problem for me until I came here. Let me just say, I need something to drink while I'm eating.

Clapping - When you arrive at someones house instead of ringing a doorbell or knocking on the door, you clap. This was hard for me to get used to, but I once I did I embraced it. Its fun.

Lessons Learned from Living Abroad

Living in another country is fun and exciting because so many things are new and different. But, for that same reason living in another country can be really hard sometimes. Living in Paraguay for the last two years has taught me a lot about myself. 

1. Material goods are not the most important thing in life: I mean this is something people always say, but, you don't really learn it first hand until you move to another country only taking two checked pieces of luggage. Yes, I still have a lot of luxuries - computer with internet, smart phone, etc. But, there are so many things about my life here that is a lot more simple than my life in the US and I like it. I'm nervous about going back and falling back into the same pattern as before. 

2. Embrace the awkward: Living in another country leads to a lot of awkward experiences with clashing of social norms and customs. What I've learned from this is to not avoid them, to go full force into them, you will learn so much about the country you are living in and about yourself. You know the whole getting out of your comfort zone thing.

3. To-be more open minded: I considered myself open-minded before and living in another country has just opened it even more. Living in another country introduces you to so many new people, new ways of living, new beliefs and so much more. 

4. Who your real friends are: This one is sad but true. Living in another country puts a strain on a lot of your relationships back home because there needs to be more of an effort on both sides to stay in touch. Those true friends that really care will make a point to stay in your life.

5. To be more tranquilo: I thought I was a pretty laid-back person before I came to this country, boy was I wrong. If Paraguay had a motto it would be Tranquilopa which is similar to Hakuna Matata, No Worries, don't sweat the small stuff. Paraguayans take everything in stride. They know what is important in life and what isn't and what is worth getting upset about. I may not have the same tranquilo level as a Paraguayan yet, but, I'm getting there. 

Professional at Awkward

The Peace Corps staff often tells us how we are going to experience so many awkward situations over the next 2 years and to prepare ourselves. They say we will be so good at dealing with awkward situations that we will be able to put it on our resume. I’ve been here a little over a month now and have experienced or my friends have experienced quite a few awkward and hilarious situations.

These are situations either I or other volunteers have experienced:

·         Jumping rope while your family pulls up chairs to sit and watch you huff and puff and sweat profusely like you’re the television

·         Coming home to have your next door neighbor waiting for you to tell you that this is his favorite time of day because his pretty American neighbor walks by and proceeds to ask for your cellphone # - luckily I could honestly say I don’t have one

·         Explaining to someone you don’t eat meat and them saying they don’t understand how that’s possible because you are a little bit fat

·         Asking for “Polvo de Hornear” (Baking Powder) at the Dispensa (little store in someone’s house) but, actually saying “Polvo de Orinar” (verb Orinar – to urinate) so basically asking for “Pee Powder”

·         Saying you are working out so you can look like Shakira and them telling you that would take a long time because you are lacking a lot to look like her

·         Asking your host sister if she has a tattoo – using the word “tattoo” because you think it the same in Spanish when in reality it means Vagina in Paraguay.

·         Trying to figure out a culturally appropriate way of getting out of eating a … mysteriously crunchy hot dog, cow stomach lining, liver … etc.  (I have already eaten crocodile and carpincho—don’t know if that is spelled right but look them up … they are ROUS’*)

·         Sitting in a room with a bunch of people speaking super-fast Spanish you can’t understand … or worse Guarani – even better is when you can tell they are talking about you.

Also the funniest part of all of these awkward situations is that there is no actual word for awkward in Spanish. There are a bunch of different words for weird … but awkward is just a word of its own with so much more meaning than just weird.

* “The Princess Bride” reference